It's oh so quiet, and peaceful, until…

Mixing witty dialogue, crazy situations, cultural and language differences and broad humour, 2 Days In New York is a more honed film compared to 2 Days In Paris, and whilst the first hour delivers some cracking moments, a lot of very funny beats and some great work by Chris Rock, the final stretch seems to give up, and hit every sitcom-esque joke it can, rather than bring some originality and inventiveness to the proceedings. Delpy juggles a lot of balls as the co-writer, director, producer, lead actor, I’m sure she did tons of other things on the film too, and yet despite that, possibly due to the heavy involvement of more people in the writing of this film, New York doesn’t have the same soul, same feelings and honesty as Paris. There’s a feeling that it’s a little too polished for what it actually is, and the humanity is taken out for the sake of a sillier film than the former, which had some painful truths mixed into the comedy.

Whilst situations such as a cross-continental dinner with kids, parents, an ex-boyfriend and two languages is funny, as is a bathroom night-time hook-up scene, there’s far too much slack in-between, not so much setting up characters that live in the real world, but giving extra explanations for moments that may or may not truly pay off in later scenes. And as the last act comes crashing in, everything seems to got a little broader, sillier, less interesting, especially dealing with nosy neighbours who believe that Marion has a tumor.

Ultimately, 2 Days In New York is aimed at a broader audience than it’s predecessor, one who will go more for the slight hijinks and events to recall in the pub later than a really interesting journey between a couple in a terrible/revelatory 48 hour period. The first may not have been great, but it was honest, in New York, 2 Days seems to be a longer, less enjoyable, and much sillier time.

Snow White And The Huntsman’s best visuals are in the trailer. Because during the 127 minutes of film, most of it is, as Universal appears to be prone to doing post-Bourne, shot without a tri-pod, steadicam or cameraperson who likes to stand relatively still. Shaky-Cam is rife and invades over half the film, at the most inappropriate moments, which would at least be fine if the film was directed competently.

Unfortunately, first time director Rupert Sanders is as good at handling action as Chris Nolan in Batman Begins. A simple scene where Snow White uses a nail to scratch a baddie is shot in such a way that you don’t know if she impaled that beast into his neck, or temple, or just punched him hard. Crazy.

Theron sinks into her role

The film starts badly enough, with Chris Hemsworth’s Robin Hood-level accent (Think it’s Scottish, but it hits Irish, Australian, Drunk and Shire before really getting anywhere near Scottish) narrating us through the early years of Snow White (Her mother wanted a girl as white as snow, with blood that is red and hair that is black. Man, genetic modification of children was crazy back then. Especially with the aborting of fetuses whose blood wasn’t red.) Then she died and stuff, and Snow White was pretty (Though the child actress doesn’t really know how to act, not the only weak performance here), and Charlize Theron’s evil Queen used her sexiness (Which she has in spades) to win over the king, and then kill all of the people.

FINALLY Kristen Stewart appears and the film focuses on her, but after the opening fifteen minutes spending more time on the evil Queen, with Charlize Theron not daring to let the scenery be chomped on by anyone else, we have no standing with this version of Snow White, and neither does Stewart. She does her basic stuff here, no quality acting on display, just bog-standard Twilight paycheck performance, confusing underacting with subtlety. Is she a great and powerful woman hidden from life? Is she a princess who can unite the land? Is she a presence worth hanging around 127 minutes with? I can only answer the last one with fact. No, she’s not. And as soon as she leaves the tower, in which she’d been locked up in for a decade, Kristen Stewart isn’t given so much of a script than an SAS assault course to traverse, getting muddy, going through shit (Much like the audience), finding a white horse luckily on a beach*, and running and running and running.

*The film is going for gritty, serious, dark aesthetics, but the fairy-tale guff in this is so overplayed, like the perfect white horse, I think delivered by fairies, just let to happen with no context.

Thorsome?

And then, all of a sudden, Chris Hemsworth’s Huntsman appears in the film, hired after a fight to hunt for Snow White, he finds her and instantly decides she’s worth helping against those who, knowing if they don’t agree to the already agreed upon deal, won’t get the girl, don’t agree to the already agreed upon deal. I KNOW! WHAT THE HELL?!?

So, Snowy and Hunts are running away from the bad guys, and then go to a village and learn who Snow White is (She’s Snow White), and then run to another forrest, where painfully tonal anomaly/unfunny dwarves Bob Hoskins (Phoning it in with crazy line readings), Toby Jones and Eddie Marsan, doing a duo thing that’s embarrassing, Ray Winstone with a mega-stupid haircut, and Nick Frost charged as the comic character of the lot, and as such is as unfunny as ever, whimsically waste time, and sometimes try to have serious moments and backstories that are just fruitless and dull.

Oh, Ian Mcshane is also a dwarf, but he doesn’t register because he doesn’t tell anyone they have a cunt mouth.

In addition, there’s Sam Claffin (He who was meant to break out in Pirates last year, but even that film didn’t believe in him) as the Prince Charming, who I figured was actually the brother the entire film, and thus it seemed to get incestuous, chasing after everyone, wanting to protect Snow White.

Ladies & Gentlemen: Academy Award Winner Charlize Theron

And so, they all band together with the remnants of the non-Queen forces, and go to fight off the baddies. Or they would, but you can’t make heads nor tales of what’s happening in the action scenes, or half the exposition for that matter, due to the painfully awful camerawork and direction. It’s a messy blur, a hodgepodge of bland, unfocussed activity which, sinfully for an action film, doesn’t provide a 3-Act structure to the action, nor a build up or conclusion. It’s just another “And then add a fight into the scene to liven things up” movie. Which makes sense with the three different writers working on it.

Snow White And The Huntsman is a painfully crafted, piss-poor paced ‘action’ film that manages to fail at providing a sense of scale with practical production design that should be glorious, and with poor poor direction and writing, would require amazing acting to even make it mediocre. As it happens, Snow White has over-acting, under-acting, non-acting, comic acting, weird accents and five different tonal ideas in any one scene. A complete and utter mess, a shameful waste of time, and sinfully dull to the point of pain. Avoid.

Is Toby Jones In This Film?

Yes, He Is In This Film

To celebrate the release of True Blood Season 4 on Monday 21^st May, we’re giving you the chance to win the complete fourth season on DVD!

The sexy, spooky and wildly entertaining TV series returns with TRUE BLOOD: THE COMPLETE FOURTH SEASON released on DVD and Blu-ray on 21 MAY 2012, from HBO Home Entertainment. Bursting with even more charisma and allure, satisfy your addiction and get sucked in right from the very start as the Complete Season 1 – 4 box set is also released on both formats.

Mixing romance, suspense and mystery with a taste for humour, TRUE BLOOD: THE FOURTH SEASON takes place in the not-too-distant future. Vampires have ventured out of the coffin thanks to the invention of a synthetic blood drink meaning they no longer need humans as a nutritional source – but is that enough to stop everyone?

In the latest spell-binding series, Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) finds herself entangled in a supernatural love triangle where she must decide between Bill (Stephen Moyer), the new Vampire King of Mississippi and Eric (Alexander Skarsgård), who is not the Viking he once was. However, are there bigger dilemmas on the horizon? When a charismatic Witch named Marnie (Fiona Shaw) threatens to overpower the Vampires once and for all, her Coven of white witches and mediums tempt Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) with other worldly powers.

As old alliances crumble and new relationships form, Season 4 of True Blood proves that nobody’s safe when there’s magic in the air.

The fourth Season arrives on Blu-ray and DVD May 21^st.
Available on iTunes.

Prepare yourself for more gritty drama and since it is French… There’s probably boobies in it too!!!

Following  the success of the recently released Season 1 box set, and a triumphant  television debut on the FX channel, Arrow  Films is pleased to confirm the highly acclaimed French cop-thriller BRAQUO’s second series will be released  as a 2-disc DVD & Blu-ray Box Set on Monday June 11th 2012.

For this  highly anticipated second series, the creators of the original BRAQUO joined forces with Abdel Raouf Dafri, the French writer  behind A Prophet and Mesrine, with the results promising to  be darker, grittier… and a lot more violent.

Having been  demoted, reassigned and even fired from the force, thanks to their escapades in  the debut series, is the game up for hard-hitting cops Caplan, Morlighem,  Roxanne and Vachewski? Jean-Hugues  Anglade (Nikita, Betty Blue) returns as the enigmatic Eddy Caplan to lead  his renegade squad of Parisian detectives as they fall yet further in the eyes  of the law.

Rejected by  their peers and superiors alike, our heroes suffer the shame and disgrace of  going from hunters to the hunted. Caught in the crossfire of a gang war, the  road to redemption will be long and hard, and they can no longer rely on  themselves alone to avoid a total fall from grace.

Hailed as France’s  answer to The Wire, BRAQUO has mesmerised UK viewers with  its violent and realistic story-lines. Hailed as one of the most gripping and  brutal police series of the last decade, fans of The Killing, The Wire and The Shield will love BRAQUO.

 

The hardest part of never knowing is letting go and that’s what Absentia is all about, letting go of the unknown. The only problem is what if the unknown refuses to let you go when you finally choose to say goodbye to a lost one?

Absentia is one of the most talked about horror films of recent years with reviews hailing it as a genuinely frightening ‘must-see’ and now it makes its premier on DVD in the UK thanks to Second Sight.

This dark, terrifying horror has garnered numerous awards including best horror feature at Shriekfest, Freak Show Film Fest and Phoenix Film Festival.

Written and directed by Mike Flanagan and starring Doug Jones (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy) it comes to UK DVD on 9 July 2012.

It’s seven years since Tricia’s (Courtney Bell) husband Daniel vanished without a trace and when her troubled younger sister Callie (Katie Parker) comes to live with her she finally finds the strength to make the painful decision to declare him legally dead ‘in absentia’. But as Tricia tries to move on with her life she becomes haunted by terrifying visions, while Callie is strangely drawn to an ominous tunnel near the house, which is linked to other unexplained disappearances. There’s something lying in the dark shadows of the tunnel but does it hold the key to Daniel’s fate and could it be something far worse than death?

Absentia is a truly scary chiller that will play on your mind long after the credits roll.

Of course with a successful franchise comes a computer game or three. The last time I played The Avengers as a super group on a console was on The Mega Drive and back then the line up featured some of the original Avengers, including Vision and The Scarlet Witch.

Ubisoft are the first to delve into The Avengers catalogue to bring a computer game to Xbox Kinect and Wii. It’s in development but to be honest if it’s Kinect and Wii, two pieces of hardware I don’t use, I’m a touch disappointed by this news, I want a full on assault of story and action with something along the lines of Marvel Alliance or the recent Captain America movie tie-in. It’ll be interesting to see if Ubisoft go for the films storyline for their game or if they’ll drawn from over 60 years of Marvel story history that continue to wow readers to this day.

However since I don’t have room for the Kinect or the patience for a Wii, this is one game I’ll have to sit out Poopy!

UBISOFT AND MARVEL ASSEMBLE
THE AVENGERS IN NEW
“BATTLE FOR EARTH”

Game Marks First Time that Marvel Universe Will Be Available on Kinect™ for Xbox360^® and Nintendo Wii™ U™ Motion Platforms

London, UK — May 10, 2012 — Today, Ubisoft^® announced a deal with Marvel Entertainment, LLC to develop a video game based on the popular Avengers characters and other heroes and villains from the Marvel Universe.

Developed by Ubisoft Quebec, Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth’s interactive environments are inspired by iconic Marvel comic artwork and the Secret Invasion storyline. This game will be released this Autumn for the Microsoft Kinect™ for Xbox 360^®, and Nintendo’s Wii™ U™ system.

“We are excited to team up with Marvel Entertainment to bring some of the most iconic comic book characters from the Marvel line-up to life in motion-gaming,” said Geoffroy Sardin, Ubisoft EMEA Marketing and Sales Director at Ubisoft.  “Fans of the Marvel universe and superhero games are going to love the extensive combinations of characters, motion-controlled moves and competitive gameplay.”

“For the last few years, Marvel has positioned itself to deliver the absolute best in entertainment, be it in film, animation, comics or games,”  said Andreea Enache-Thune, senior vice president of games and digital distribution at Marvel.  “Partnering with Ubisoft is a big part of that ongoing movement. We are confident that Ubisoft’s talent matches Marvel’s own commitment to making the Avengers: Battle for Earth the best in the motion-controlled gaming category.”

Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth features 20 different characters, including Avengers such as Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America and Thor, as well as other fan-favorite Super Heroes and Super Villains from the Marvel Universe.

For more information on Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth, please visit: www.AvengersBattleForEarth.com

Being a vampire in the future has to be easy, right? I mean in at least 40 to 60 years we won’t realise the damage pollution is causing until it’s too late and the sun is blotted out by a fog of fumes and chemical mists that burns the flesh off any living thing that gets in its path.

No sunlight would be a plus and by then we’ll never need to venture outside because the entire world will be at our fingertips through social media, high speed connections and an insane amount of data jetting its way directly into our brain through a fibre optic cable!

We’ll be a vampire platter just waiting to be served… Oh good god, that’s their plan all along!!

Bracknell, UK, 10^th May, 2012 - Kalypso Media is pleased to unveil DARK, an exciting third-person stealth-action game for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and for Windows PC. DARK — developed by RealmForge, creators of the award-winning Dungeons — puts players in the role of a vampire out to discover the secrets of the mysterious global GeoForge Corporation. By making the most of powerful vampire skills, stealth and lethal combat abilities, players will engage and destroy their enemies, while moving silently through a stylized futuristic cityscape. The treacherous techno universe of DARK is rendered in gorgeous cel-shaded graphics with gameplay that tests the players’ ability to master both stealth and combat. DARK is slated for a global release in early 2013.

DARK is a stealth action game with RPG elements that lets you slip into the role of the ultimate killer… a vampire. Stalk you enemies from the shadows then use powerful vampire abilities to attack and silently dispatch them! The exciting story of DARK immerses you in a world full of blood and darkness in which the hunter can become the hunted at any time. As you unravel the mystery behind the global conglomerate that seems omnipresent and all-powerful, continually improve your character by developing powerful skills to aid you in remaining unobserved, or make quick process of those unfortunate to take too keen an interest in you. Features of DARK:

• Stealth and action combine as players walk the world in darkness and silence, attacking their unsuspecting foes with supernatural fury
• Use powerful vampire abilities and hard-hitting melee attacks to defeat dangerous enemies — turn into a puff of smoke and disappear, or close with your foes in an instant!
• Powerful and intelligently controlled AI enemies mix the fantastic with the real-world. Battle police and elite special forces along with ghouls and other vampires
• Castles, museums, skyscrapers, nightclubs and more are rendered in stunning 3D cel-shaded graphics, beckoning the player to explore — but beware, powerful enemies hide everywhere
• RPG element mix with a compelling story – players will build up their skills through successful evasion and combat, while advancing the story through conversations with NPCs

Thinking is good unless they are dirty thoughts in which case, shame on you!

OFFICIAL GAMEPLAY TRAILER RELEASED FOR DISNEY•PIXAR BRAVE: THE VIDEO GAME 

Action-Adventure Video Game Inspired by Upcoming Disney•Pixar Film BRAVE to Launch This Summer

Inspired by Brave,  the upcoming Disney•Pixar animated fantasy adventure movie, Brave: The Video Game invites players to run, jump and battle their way through the rugged landscape of mythical and mysterious Scotland. By using their wits and bravery, gamers will also be able to wield a sword and bow and arrow to defeat fierce enemies, break a magical curse and save a kingdom.

Play as Merida, Pixar’s first female hero and an expert archer, or in the console versions players can also play as other entertaining characters from the film.  In addition, they will be able to go on quests through a magical world and solve puzzles to uncover secrets.  Gameplay features include single-player, co-op for family and friends and a special Bear mode.

Brave: The Video Game will launch Summer 2012, in conjunction with the film, for PlayStation®3 computer entertainment system, the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, Wii™, Nintendo DS™ and Windows PC/MAC.

BETHESDA SOFTWORKS MARKS OCTOBER 12, 2012
LAUNCH DATE FOR DISHONORED  

Arkane Studios’ Supernatural Assassin Action Game Available Worldwide This Fall 

May 10^th, 2012 (London, UK) – Bethesda Softworks®, a ZeniMax® Media company, today announced that Dishonored™, the supernatural assassin action game under development at Arkane® Studios, will be available in  North America on October 9, in Australia on October 11 and throughout Europe on October 12, 2012.  Developed under the direction of co-creative directors Raphael Colantonio and Harvey Smith, Dishonored is slated for release on the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, PlayStation®3 computer entertainment system, and Games for Windows.

Dishonored is set in Dunwall, an industrial whaling city where steampunk- inspired technology and otherworldly forces coexist in the shadows. You are Corvo, the once-trusted bodyguard of the beloved Empress who has been murdered. Framed for the crime, you become an infamous assassin, known by the disturbing mask that has become your calling card. In a time of uncertainty, when the city is besieged by plague and ruled by a corrupt government armed with frightening technologies, dark forces bestow supernatural abilities upon you – but at what cost? The truth behind your betrayal is as murky as the waters surrounding the city, and the life you once had is gone forever.

Creatively eliminate your enemies with Dishonored’s flexible combat system as you combine supernatural abilities with weapons and gadgets at your disposal. Pursue your targets under the cover of darkness or boldly attack them head on with weapons drawn. The outcome of each mission plays out based on the choices you make.

“We are pleased that Dishonored has captured people’s attention,” said Vlatko Andonov, president of Bethesda Softworks. “We are looking forward to sharing lots more information about the game leading up to its launch in October, and having a hands-on build of Dishonored in our booth at E3!”

For more information on Dishonored visit www.Dishonored.com.

What happens as time passes, strange events occur and paranoia kicks in? Fight or Flight? Which option do you choose when there’s nowhere to run?

First off, The Divide is a depressing piece of Cinema, I remember falling in love with the film at Frightfest last year. There are so many characters that make up this film but writers Karl Mueller and Eron Sheean have ensured that each character has their own cemented path and relationships in this twisted tale of survival underground.

Our alpha female is the quiet Eva (Lauren German) who watches, observes and keeps it together just by standing by, although sometimes standing by isn’t enough to stay safe. Marilyn (Rosanna Arquette) is the mother who goes a little loopy after things inside the bunker begin to unravel. Josh (Milo Ventimiglia) is the hot headed alpha male, things start out well for him, his heart is in the right place but when rations become tight who will he throw under the bus to survive?

There are about ten people trapped beneath the ground as the world above collapses into a dusty pile of rubble above their heads and all have their own stories to tell but all end up in a desperate fight for survival as the group splinters and paranoia sets in, not just over rations but over bonds they brought in from the outside world. Will brother turn against brother? Will two lovers find themselves torn apart as the desperation of the events and kindness of another draws one away, whilst the other looks to the alpha males of the group for security?

The Divide asks a lot of it’s characters, it asks them to sacrifice, trust, do some desperate things in order to survive and more often than not these things lead down a path of damnation that would make any radiation on the outside more welcoming than the company they keep inside. However when circumstances change and they find themselves welded in to their new ‘home’, their grave… things go from bad to worse.

The cast here is great and I think this is the only film where you’ll see another man poke Milo Ventimiglia’s junk with his finger. There’s some weird depraved shit that goes down with Milo’s character as time goes on, misguided madness that appears to be for the good of the group turns in to all out insanity which Eva Played by Lauren German must witness and this smart cookie must come to terms quickly that the group that came in to this shelter may not be her best chance for survival after all.

The Divide is a gritty and of course exaggerated look at the survival instinct, “Survival of the fittest” shall we say? It’s grimy and out of control in places but Xavier Gens does a great job at giving us the sense of space in this underground wonderland but at the same time even though the characters don’t need to trip over one and other their actions bring the walls in around them giving that sense of no escape or respite from one and other.

It’s a great but depressing watch.