Robo Geisha – DVD Review

Distributor:  Cine Asia

UK Release Date: 7th June 2010

Format: DVD

Certificate: 18

Running Time: 102 Minutes

RRP: £15.99 / Bluray: £24.99

Director: Noboru Iguchi

Starring:  Yoshihiro Nishimura, Naoto Takenaka, Asami, Takumi Saito

Special Features:

• Original Trailer

FROM THE TWISTED TEAM THAT BROUGHT YOU ‘MACHINE GIRL’!

Get ready for the most unashamedly over-the-top and deliriously inventive cinematic experience of your life, as the Japanese masters of movie mayhem achieve a brand new level of jaw-dropping craziness.

To help them achieve their goal of taking over the world, a megalomaniac Japanese businessman and his son recruit a vicious gang of Geisha assassins. These include two feisty sisters with an amazing range of surgically added weapons.

But when one of these Robo-Geishas refuses to kill an innocent group of ex-employees, its butt-blades versus wig napalm and machine breasts against killer-cleaver socks as the assassins take on the Geisha’s in one of the most mind-bending movie battles of all time.

Throw in the buildings that bleed, the Giant Castle Robot and the Breast Milk From Hell, and you have a wonderfully insane Kamikaze movie that will have you laughing out loud!

On with the review!

It seems that there’s a lot of films out recently trying to peddle the inseperable bond between sisters.  You read my review of The Graves, I hope and you will have seen the aspect that was brought into that film.

However when a film called Robo Geisha comes along, you know it’s going to be one of those films that will catch your eye should you pass it on the DVD shelf.  Catch your eye it will, it has a suitably dark cover which will draw the average geek and eastern fan in for the kill.

The problem is Robo Geisha as a concept is a really good idea but suffers from a lack of splatter.  In a genre that recently brought us the suitably silly and excellent Tokyo Gore Police and Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl there’s just no room for a film that’s not willing to push the bounderies.

Boob Milk From Hell!!!

Yes there were some nifty little fight scenes which incorporated some suitably silly weapons of choice like ass blades, breast milk from hell and boob machine gun.  That is not enough to save this from being a very meagre effort on the behalf of creators and directors.

I often compare this type of film to deranged episodes of Power Rangers and this was more Power Rangers than anything else.

When I first sat down to watch this, I fell asleep.  At first I thought it was because I had had a nasty day at work and needed a nap but I’m afraid not.  The second time I sat down, I was moderately engaged but the same overwhelming feeling of boredom struck with moments of respite when someone got stabbed in the bum with a sword.

That’s not the end of my distaste though… Not since Neil Marshall’s Centurion have I felt that “Thank God It’s Over” feeling.

Avoid it, there are better films out there.  As mentioned above choose Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl or Tokyo Gore Police unfortunately neither or from Cine Asia, Sorry!