Bitch Slap! – Review

Distributor: Momentum Pictures

UK Release Date: 19th April 2010

Format: DVD

Certificate: 18

Running Time: 101 Minutes

RRP: £15.99

Director: Rick Jacobson

Starring: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo, Michael Hurst, Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, Renee O’Connor, Zoe Bell

Special Features:

• Trailer
• Making a Better B-Movie

Having trouble trying to put what I thought about this crime-caper into words.  Let’s begin with the plot from the press release, saves me the trouble of typing it out.

The plot follows three badass chicks – stripper Trixie (Voth), corporate powerbroker Hel (Cummings)and psychotic drug-runner Camero (Olivo) – as they crash at a remote desert hideaway with a plan to steal $200 million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin. But as allegiances change and bitter truths are revealed, the girls’ plan spirals dangerously out of control, forcing them to face a variety of villains much worse than themselves and leaving the very fate of the world in the balance.

If you’re a Hercules and Xena fan, you’ll appreciate the cameos in Bitch Slap, even fans of Dark Angel and Joss Whedon’s Angel will spot some faces from the past.

Bitch Slap takes tits, ass and pussy and utilises the talents of its female cast in the fashion the film intended.  Exploitation!  Taking the look and feel of a Grindhouse flick or Russ Meyer film and adding Glorious technicolour creates an amazing look which Director Rick Jacobson takes full advantage of when making light of the female leads finer assets.

First and foremost this is a B-Movie that starts off really well, it’s entertaining, the leads are gorgeous and Erin Cummings give me a doggie bag, I want to take that woman home with me.

Bitch Slap however makes one big mistake, it’s TOO LONG.  The cameos can only keep a geek going for so long.  The cleavage is nice and the super duper lesbian kiss and finger is great but don’t give up on the writing which had been fairly entertaining throughout the first half hour.

The fact that this film had tits and ass on display throughout it’s 101 minute running time is testament to the director and producers love of the genre.  As I said these women look great, even caked in muck they look great and even though this film falls into the B-Movie genre the entire cast seem comfortable in front of the camera and very rarely fuck up… although I wasn’t wholly convinced on America Olivo’s part.

Had the story been point A to point B I think it would have flowed a lot better but the current day stuff is handled in the desert and the elements that brought these three protagonists together are handled with flash backs.  I do think Bitch Slap would have been a better and shorter film had they shown it as the story progressed rather than through a Momento-esque back and forth on the timeline.

Who am I trying to kid? Bitch Slap was made to be fun, frolicks and boobs galore. It accomplishes that in the first and last 30 minutes of the feature.  The 40 minutes in between? Oh my…. snooze fest as the film just became a little bit too samey.

I say rent it but have a drink or two before you turn it on, get rid of the other half because she will not appreciate it.

It does look beautiful and would certainly benefit a lot more from a Bluray release! Just imagine the above in glorious high def, the flames in the background would just POP… yes, there are flames in the background… look to the right a bit… no not the right tit… RIGHT a BIT!

There we go…  but you get my meaning from the stills above, the feature is shot in daylight too so no pesky night scenes to bring the picture quality into question. Huzzah.

I liked it, it got a bit tedious in the middle but over all it’s a good film which should be watched by men or teenage boys at least once for the fanny attack during the final fight scene… even I’M surprised that got passed the BBFC especially since they’re so strict when it comes to head butts.

Give it a try, if you don’t like it… watch the making of in the special features as it seems everyone enjoyed making this little up to date exploitation flick! (to be honest I found this candid making of more entertaining than the film itself… SORRY!)

RENT RENT RENT….

…. Why must wordpress fudge up whenever I try to post something?!?! ….

EDIT: Ahhh fuck it… I liked it, go buy it… lol been going back n forth on this title but I’m gonna say it’s a definite 3/5 so worth a buy!