Hatchet – Kickin’ It Old School

(Yeah not even I could bring myself to write Skool)

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Well I stupidly let Adam Green the director of Hatchet know that this, his first film is the only one I didn’t really like.  Now he wants to kill me and with Hatchet 2on the way to Frightfest in August, I believe he just might.  Only he’ll use Victor Crowley himself to do the deed!

Hatchetfollows a group of tourists on a night tour of the swamps of New Orleans.  Looking for all the creepy spirits.  Thing is they get more than they bargained for when urban legend or urrr swamp legend Victor Crowley comes out to play.  The disfigured kid was kept hidden away by his father but one night some kids from town wanting to see the abomination that was Victor, accidentally set his shack on fire.

In comes dad to rescue the poor frightened boy but ends up taking a hatchet to his beloved sons face.  Giving up on life the old man hides away in his burnt out home and eventually dies.

Flip to present day and Victor Crowley has returned… how? I’m not quite sure but Hatchet face is gonna get ya!

No one leaves Victor Crowley’s swamp alive.  Thing is one of the tour members knows the Crowley legend and knows of the danger that this swamp holds to a stranded tour group.

This one is going to be short.  I still ain’t feeling the love for Hatchet! I got it a little bit more than last time, in fact I really did get into it a little bit more as the soundmix did make me jump and at one point made the dog jump which in turn set me off again.

Anyway, I see what Green was trying to do.  Bring the old school back to horror and with three old school horror icon cameos it’s worth watching just for that.  In fact the Making Of is really interesting especially when it gets to the point where Adam is talking to Robert Englund on the phone for the first time.  I would have lost it too.

The problem I have is, it feels too Friday The 13thand I loathed that franchise first time round but kudos to Green for bringing back the old school vibe.  It takes a lot of guts (pun intended) to shoot a film that doesn’t rely on the use of CGI.  I love splatter effects… mmmmmmm intestines, sander to the face… rar!!

Hatchet is good (using the term loosely), no it’s average but it tries to bring old school back with a modern vibe.  It’s humorous but as always with Adam the humour does not infringe on the horror element of the piece which is always a plus.

The film also starred Mercedes McNab which was a plus but then again, the poor girl had been reduced to whipping her tits out every five minutes.  She deserves better not that Hatchet is a low point in the career of McNab *looks from left to right… Green is gonna fuck me up*

I think I should stop now… If I disappear after Frightfest in August, you’ll know I’ve been added to the Victor Crowley body count.

Yeah ummm… Stick with Spiral which should be announced on DVD in the UK sometime this month, it far more entertaining and the Avatar bloke appears in that one too.