The Creative Writiing Marvel…

… That is me!!!

So over the past couple of months I’ve posted some assignments from my course, how they’ve been marked and what not.  here’s some more!

February 9 Writing Exercise

Write five similes or metaphors. And with each simile or metaphor, reveal something important about Charlie the Gnome’s past or psyche or spirit. Feel free to make up whatever you want to about Charlie’s past/psyche/spirit. For example: your similar might reveal that Charlie used to feel embarrassed about being taller than the other kids. Your metaphor might reveal Charlie’s love of nature.

If you don’t want to write about Charlie, you can write about another character of your own creation.

This exercise can be completed in between February 8 and February 13

So for these I’m going to post my responses with Jeremy’s marking technique, his stuff is in the < . > so pay attention. He marks grammar and lets me know if I’m on the right track or not.

THE MARKING:

Charlie the Gnomes breath reminded Lilly of a Troll Fart, pungent and strong. <Excellent! You’ve created a fresh comparison here, that connects with Lilly’s past.>

As Lilly tugged on Charlie’s Wand she felt it could snap like a candy cane; if tugged too harshly. <Good!>

For Charlie playing with himself was like a game of tiddly winks. Flicking too hard could result in a goal too soon. <Excellent! Fresh and imaginative.>

Charlie stuck his nose in a jar of honey, <period> being alone in the big city had it’s set backs <setbacks> but honey? Honey was like a memory in a jar. <Great simile.> The beehive hidden amongst the brambles at the back of the garden. The Bee’s <Bees> that taunted and teased whenever Charlie got hungry. To be home again, would be perfect.

At as loss for paper clips to bind his latest manuscript. <comma> Charlie used Lilly’s nipple claps, <period> they were at least a little like paper clips – after all they did keep the pages together.

<Great job, Clifford. You need to work on your sentence structure a bit, but your metaphors and similes are creative and fresh and vivid.>

 I’m the first to admit my grammar is a terrible thing.  It’s a huge weakness for me, I write as I speak and that’s never a good thing.

February 11 Writing Exercise

Write 7 first sentences. Imagine that these will be the first sentences for a short story or novel.

Make these sentences as intriguing as possible. Capture the hearts and minds of your readers with a vivid image, or an enthralling idea, or a unique narrative voice, or whatever else you think would be effective.

This exercise can be turned in between February 10 and February 13.

Once again his comments are in the <.>

1. It rolled in like the tide crashing against the shore, that feeling, Dread. <Good imagery. And I like how you delve into the emotional realm of your character, from the get go.>
2. Pink was a powerful colour, a colour that draws you in like the pink of a lover’s lips. <Intriguing concept and I like the imagery! As a reader, I’m wondering why pink is so powerful, and I want to read more.>
3. BANG! <Good! There’s nothing quite like an explosion of some sort to pique the interest of your readers.>
4. I hadn’t realised how persuasive spirits could be, yet I found myself licking the plug socket all the same. <Ha! This is a funny/intriguing situation, and the image is quite vivid.>
5. Dreaming was a profession for me, it made more sense then <than> the most recent moments of lucidity <comma> that’s for sure. <Very interesting!>
6. A gnome, yes a gnome had perched itself on the end of Lucifer’s bed, not even fire and brimstone could keep the little buggers at bay. <Ha! I love this image, and this situation. I’d definitely want to keep reading.>
7. Waves of self loathing came over me like a tsunami of emotions, how could I have done such a terrible act? <You might need to separate this into two sentence. Or you could write something like: As waves of self loathing came over me like a tsunami of emotions, I wonder how I could have done such a terrible act? This is an interesting situation. As a reader, I’m interested in finding out more.>

<Great job on these, Clifford. I like your use of unique imagery. And I like how you start out many of these sentences with an emotion.>

And there you have it.  My two exercises. Well the recently marked ones.

I now have to go and read over my first chapter.  My first unfinished chapter which was a bit of a fail whale for me but the class were nice about it on the forums.  Will Jeremy be just as kind? Why change the habit of a lifetime?