The Wolfman: Creature Features Are In!

Universal are taking another stab at bringing their monster classics back to the big screen.  The Wolfman tries to reboot the trend in a non action packed camp style.

The Mummy Trilogy was a commercial success, Van Helsingwas a romp bringing all three classics to the screen at once; a retarded Frankenstein Monster, A Camp Dracula and a frankly pious Wolfman.

They keep trying but always seem to be taking the wrong approach.  They aim for the teenage freaks that like to use their mobiles during films.  The audience that couldn’t give a shit about a studios heritage and to be quite frank if you’re going to rape your own studio history it’s obvious the man up top isn’t bothered about which direction the future of the studio is going in either.

The Wolfman however tries to put an end to the PG-13 trend.  Offering up a mediocre spattering of gore and an all star cast that would have been awesome had Sir Anthony Hopkins not pissed over everyone else’s performances.

I just wish someone had said from the very beginning.  The script isn’t strong enough to be a period piece, so lets pay homage to Hammer Horror and give people a film they’ll be proud of. Nostalgic for.

Unfortunately there are moments this film tries to be a period piece and fails due to weak dialogue and a smattering of CGI during transformation that  looks like it had been recycled from Hulk (2003) in some spots.

As I said Hopkins offers a cracking performance as the menacing father of Benicio Del Toro (Lawrence Talbot).  Del Toro on the other hand has the look of the old Universal creature feature leading man, he ain’t pretty and there for has the look of a man who could be cursed.  After all how can someone be cursed if they look so damn good.  Thank god they didn’t try to cast Zac Efron.

Emily Blunt plays Gwen the love interest of the piece.  The woman who begs Del Toro’s character to return home as his brother, her betrothed has gone missing.  When Lawrence returns home we discover he has not been back to his family home since the death of his mother when he was a small child.  His brother turns up dead and the hunt for his killer begins.

Little does Gwen and Lawrence know that the search for the killer would result in Lawrence falling prey to a curse that has infected his bloodline for many many years.

The problem is Gwen and Lawrence appear to fall for one and other but it’s never clear enough that they’re in love and love is the bond that can apparently tame the beast or at least that’s how it’s implied.

It’s a predictable piece but The Wolfman look is faithful to the original films, which surprised me.  The CGI transformation doesn’t hold a torch to An American Werewolf In London’s wolf transformation but it does try to imitate some aspects of that transformation.  If there’s one thing Harry Potter has done in recent years it’s the werewolf transformation.

When I first saw the third Harry Potter film, I was shocked at how far they actually went during that sequence as the man became the beast. Tearing away the flesh to reveal the beast within.  I felt while watching The Wolfman that maybe that would have been a more fitting affect as the wolf still retains the features on the man even after the change.

It’s a mighty fine effort with plenty of quick scares that work and the gore will make smile from time to time.  Even the beheading in the swamp was a welcome chuckle.

I liked it, it wasn’t as awesome as I expected but at least it didn’t feature Emily Blunt doing acrobatics, shooting silver bullets using bullet time.  Although I would have enjoyed that too but not as much as this attempt to bring old horror back to the big screen.

Here’s hoping Vampire and Werewolf lore, the old school years kick these Twilight tweens into touch.  let them realise that wolves don’t look like poodles and vampires don’t sparkle in sunlight.  These are the creatures that go bump in the night.

Everyone should fear a bogeyman as a child… to not fear the creature in the closet or the monster under the bed… Invite fear into your kids lives or they’re going to talk back a lot sooner.  To this day my niece never comes into the kitchen when there’s a knife in my hand.  (I used to chase her with one to keep her away from the hot appliances when she was little, then when she swore for the first time, I threatened to cut her tongue out.  She’s thirteen now and still fears me)

It’s not child abuse! It’s life lessons!!

Anyway go and see The Wolfman, there are moments of fear and fun. Although they might be few and far between, you’ll have fun.

Also watch out for David Schofield in the pub, a little nod to his role in An American Werewolf In London. Beware the Moon Lads…

It’s just a shame Hopkins pissed over every other performance in this film.  Even Hugo Weaving‘s version of Agent Smith in a different period couldn’t take down Hopkins sinister old geezer.  In fact Hugo seemed a little redundant as he can’t seem to muster up anything other than Agent Smith in any of the parts he plays these days.

Boo Hiss!!! Bring back Universals Dracula!! That’s what I say.

In my realm of horror first comes the Vampire, then comes the paranormal, the crazed killer, the werewolf and then a plethora of things before I’ll give in and watch a shitty zombie movie.

Huzzah… I think this film is subjective.  Don’t go in expecting too much and you’ll do fine.

If I had to rate it?

Solid 7/10 for Hopkins alone.  The rest is just gravy and it will probably end up as a bluray purchase upon release.