Boo Hoo, I stole games and now I’ve been spanked… Xbox!

So, yesterday Microsoft announced it would be bringing the god awful Ban Hammer down on those who are running modified Xbox 360′s as it was against the Xbox Live terms of service and are more than likely used to play pirated games.  Close to a Million gamers have been affected by the Ban Hammer.  Smooshed into little geeky mush where they cry for they can no longer berate or abuse the more honest users of the Xbox Live service.

Imagine my surprise to see some whiny little creature complaining over at the BBC Website.

“My name’s Raz, I’m 25 years old, I’m a massive Xbox gamer. I play every day after work and all day on the weekends.

Hi Raz, My name is Satans Puppet aka the sarcastic shit who’s going to rip your little rant to pieces.  It’s a pleasure to not meet you.

So you play every day after work and all day weekends? So do some HONEST gamers who consider chipping their machines but don’t for fear of what’s just happened, HAPPENING.  Just because you put in the hours, does not mean you have the right to steal the game.  Casual gamers and other gamers out there can put in just as much time as you but fork out the £40 for a game or wait until they come down in price.

The Xbox for me is just about playing online, that’s why I love it – well did!

What’s changed? Xbox Live is still the same service it was before the Ban Hammer smooshed your illegal activities.  Just because you owned illegal copies of games does not mean the finished, mass produced product you could have bought in the store will be any different from your version.  The experience is still the same you masturbating chimp!

It was a big day yesterday, the latest game we’ve been waiting months and months for. We’ve played the whole series and this one’s come out, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

Yes, the game ‘most’ of us have been waiting for was released and broke sales records in the UK.  A record you probably would not have contributed to due to illegal downloads! I don’t see your point, your copy would have eventually lead to the same outcome, speak sense man or retreat into your hovel and don’t come out… oh that’s right, during social hours, you already do that but now you’re stuck with having to watch Judge Judy rather than playing on line as per the norm.

All loading up, everything’s going well, I was happy. It came on to the start screen of Call of Duty and I thought, ‘Do you know what, let me quickly sign in online’. I sign in online and next thing I see, ‘Your console has been banned from Xbox’.

I was pretty distraught at the time, I can’t remember exactly what it said but I saw the words ‘banned’ and I was gutted, completely gutted.

Distraught? on the gauge of “Cat Stuck Up A Tree” to “Gordon Brown couldn’t spell my dead sons name”, where would you place yourself?  If you were an EMO, I’d be concerned for your safety and put you on suicide watch.  All those spare hours not being able to play online but at least you can play single player games.  There was a time before the Internet when games were a medium for story telling.

At first I was in shock, I mean it’s always at the back of your head using pirate games you know there’s that possibility but you haven’t heard about it, there’s been no warnings and you haven’t heard it happen to anyone in the last two years.

I wasn’t expecting it. I was just like, ‘OK, what do I do now? Is this just a joke?’ So I thought, ‘Let me restart the Xbox’. I restarted, signed in again, same message. I did that three times, same message. I was pulling my hair out thinking, ‘No, why me?’

Pulling your hair out? Get to a doctor, hair loss is usually hereditary and if it’s coming out in clumps? Dude you’re screwed.  Although getting a message and then rebooting your machine in the hope that it would disappear?  I do that with the news all the time, if I don’t like the story, switch it off and then back on in the hope that the story will have changed in the 3 – 5 seconds it takes for my TV to come back on.

It’s like telling someone their dog’s just died. It was pretty much like that for me. I love it, I love playing Xbox live. I play with my mates all the time. It’s just a good laugh, we all sit there chatting, playing games. Now I don’t know what to do.

It’s like telling someone their dog’s just died? Now being an animal lover, not in the way the Welsh like sheep but as someone who has owned dogs and cats throughout their childhood.  A Pet is usually an extension of your family and can show emotion and pain. You plug your xbox in… it’s not a living entity, it’s not like someone’s dog just died at all.  What are you that emotionally retarded, you can’t tell the difference between a machine and a living creature?

I still think they should lower the prices. There are 16-year-old kids out there, they don’t earn money so they go screaming to their parents saying, ‘Can you buy me this game?’

They should lower prices? Oh yes, that’s clever but meanwhile, while folks like you are STEALING games they can use the excuse that they need to keep prices high to subsidize your filthy habit and cover the loss of cash flow they get from people taking what doesn’t belong to them because they haven’t spent the money on the product to begin with.

Fair enough, one game once in a while but the amount of games coming out, good games, everyone wants to play them all. And for them to pay £50 a game?

£50 a game? Where are you buying your game… the game EVERYONE was supposedly waiting for Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 could be found for £26 in most supermarket chains if you queued up on release day.  It can be found now for £32 on Amazonwith free shipping.  Stop being a lazy little dipshit and shop around like the rest of us.

I took it into a shop [the Xbox], there was a guy back there and I asked him and he did it for me [chipped it]. He charged £75 to get it chipped but at the end of the day I said to myself I’ll pay £75 to get it chipped, after two games I’ve paid the money back.

Even I know where you can get your Xbox Modded for £20 or less… stop embelishing, you’re not a victim, the games companies aren’t the victims, they just want to protect their profits and their copyright which as a business is their legal right.

I’ve probably saved about £600 and I’ve copied roughly 30 or 40 games. A lot of them I’ve downloaded or I’ve taken off friends that have downloaded themselves.

Saved £600, close to a MILLION machines have been banned and if those people have all saved between £200 and £600 in the past two years, then how much have developers lost?  Think about your statement, you’re 25… you can’t be that thick or maybe you can.  Maybe your grief has blinded you to the truth.

To be honest, I’ve contemplated whether to move to Playstation 3 or buy another Xbox. I wouldn’t do it again but I really don’t know if I’m going to get the Xbox again now.”

More fool you, your original point about loving playing online.  The Xbox Live hasn’t changed, your console has been banned, you have no choice but to get another if you want to play on the service.  The only other dilemma you have when buying your new console is selecting the games you loved playing online and actually PAYING for them which increases the cost, some of us have been clever enough to spread the cost over the weekend.

Don’t get me wrong, I know people who have been affected by the Ban Hammer but the above statements made so widely availible to the general public at large via the BBC Website makes the gaming community at large once again look like susceptible little fanboys who have no social skills what so ever.  Grow up man, you’re 25!

Those of my friends who have been caught and banned, have all held their hands up and said “Fair Cop…” and will either buy a new machine straight away or wait until a time that they can afford to buy a new SKU in this climate.

Now when it comes to movies and music, I’m not the most honest person in the world but owning over 600 DVDs, 100 HD DVDs and 170 Blurays.  I find anything I do download at some point will be replaced by the official product later on down the line.  So it’s technically a rental.  I downloaded a screener of Bruno and on release earlier this week, I bought the Bluray.

So yeah I’m in the wrong like the above but… well I’m just wrong.  When I get caught, I’ll hold my hands up and say fair game, you caught me.  Then I’ll prolly have to sell off all my official purchases to pay the fine which would in turn breed a deep sense of resentment forcing me to go out on a spree in LA… tracking down studio execs and killing them with a broken disc, jabbing the pointy object into their throats and bathing in th….. Urrrrr

The End….